I'm Not That Girl
by electricPASSION
Summary: Ginny's recounting the tale of her relationship with Draco Malfoy. A one-shot to the song "Not That Girl" by Idina Menzel.


I could spend the next twenty years explaining every detail of my relationship with Draco Malfoy, I remember it all. I could tell you about our first meeting, our first kiss, our first date, everything. I remember the first time we made love, the first time we had sex in the rain, and the first time we almost got caught screwing around in the Greenhouses. Draco Malfoy, he was special to me, almost unattainable even though he was mine. But Draco Malfoy is like a butterfly; hard to catch, even harder to keep. Even now I question the motives of our relationship, what he actually wanted, and what happened. He wasn't the man I thought he was, and not because he was Draco Malfoy, but because I was Ginny Weasley. He was perfect, he really was, but you can't hold on to perfection.

_Hands touch, eyes meet  
Sudden silence, sudden heat  
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl  
He could be that boy  
But I'm not that girl_

I was the one who broke up with Draco Malfoy. When the school found out that we were together, the rumors were vicious. Some said that I seduced him and put him under a spell, others said that he was using the Imperio curse on me. Honestly, they were the farthest answers from the truth. I met Draco in detention one evening, he watched over me as I labeled vials for Professor Snape. Half way through he knocked down a set of vials and laughed cruelly at me, "Oops." I was already mad because he'd been tormenting me all evening, so I lunged at him, attacking him. We rolled all over the floor before he pinned me, and that was the start of something new. I was blushing with anger and Draco was furious, but the moment he pressed his lips against mine the passion was there. We had some of the best sex when we were mad at each other.

_Don't dream too far  
Don't lose sight of who you are  
Don't remember that rush of joy  
He could be that boy  
I'm not that girl_

Our relationship flourished after that. At first we tried to keep it under wraps, we snuck around and hid everything carefully, but after awhile we got careless. I wanted him and he wanted me, it didn't matter who knew. We walked into the Great Hall together one morning, holding hands, and the Hall went silent. It was uproarious for weeks and though people could see the celestial joy on our faces, they didn't accept it. His friends and numerous girls threatened to rip me apart, and my brother and my friends didn't bother sparing him the same threats. We were loved by our peers, but we loved each other more. Slowly I began to lose myself in lust, I snuck out of class to find him and pull him out with me. Draco and I were near inseparable for a few months, and then things changed. I changed.

_Ev'ry so often we long to steal  
To the land of what-might-have-been  
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel  
When reality sets back in_

Draco was too flirtatious for me, and he was near insatiable in bed. While we both collapsed with utter fatigue, he always wanted sex or love or something from me. We were together on Christmas and he gave me this gorgeous diamond necklace, only when I gave him a freshly knitted scarf I felt little in comparison to him. Draco swore up and down that he loved it, but I couldn't help but feel that I had to give him something bigger, something more important than a scarf. So on New Year's Eve I took him to the Astronomy Tower and gave him a small box with a Weasley family heirloom in it. He loved it and picked me up, swinging me around like a Draco no one would recognize, but I knew it was the beginning of the end. The connection was off, and as fast as he fell in love with me, he fell out of love with me. I shrunk away, I wasn't worthy of the love he could provide, he needed someone who could love him with their all. I was not that girl.

_Blithe smile, lithe limb  
She who's winsome, she wins him  
Gold hair with a gentle curl  
That's the girl he chose  
And Heaven knows  
I'm not that girl_

It didn't matter though, because the school had dropped out of our love life. They began to relinquish their hold on our relationship, finding someone new to harass. Draco and I sat down one evening and talked about everything, he told me that he loved me and for the first time I wanted to cry. I opened my mouth several times but I couldn't make the words come out, I just couldn't speak. I felt horrible, and tears trickled down my face, and it just hurt even worse when he began to kiss them away. We broke up within the month and though the school was happy, they were confused. They chalked his next relationship up to sensitivity and heartbreak, because even his arch-enemy Ginny Weasley was better than Hannah Abbott. She was a blonde haired girl with blue eyes, she was an angel. I, Ginny Weasley, was not. I cried myself to sleep the night they started going out, because I knew that she could give him the love I could not. Her family was rich enough, she was pure enough, and I wasn't. I deserved who I got, Zacharias smith, local Hufflepuff pervert.

_Don't wish, don't start  
Wishing only wounds the heart  
I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl  
There's a girl I know  
He loves her so  
I'm not that girl_

Sometimes I wonder if Draco and I would have stayed together if I hadn't broken things off, and then I realize that it wouldn't have worked. He needed someone who could give him the world and I couldn't do that, I wasn't his Cinderella, even if he was my Prince Charming. I loved Draco, but not nearly as much as he loved me. Hannah Abbott-Malfoy invited me to her baby shower next week, included was a note from Draco, signed, "Always yours, Draco". Even now, married to Zacharias Smith and him married to Hannah Abbott, he can still produce an amount of love I can't reach.

He could've been that boy, but I wasn't that girl.

Author's Note: This is my first Draco/Ginny songfic. I love this song, so hopefully  
I conveyed the relationship how I wanted to. I would love if you told reviewed  
and told me what you think about it. :)


End file.
